I Wish I Could Hate You
by TomatoBisque
Summary: And I finally realized that the reason I couldn't hate her, the reason I couldn't believe all the assumptions the clan had made about her, the reason I was so obsessed with her very existance. I loved Hyuuga Hinata. And I wished I could've hated her.
1. Faraway Eyes

A/N: I haven't written anything I was truly passionate about in a long time. I hope that this is something I can really get into, and I hope you can enjoy it too. Hyuuga cest, probably. Oh well, I tend to make awkward, uncomfortable situations seem right - even so, please don't flame me because you don't like Neji/Hina. Enjoy...

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**Hyuuga Neji** - _The girl with the far away eyes._

It was cold that night. Colder than it should have been; the air felt as chilling as the sky looked, the dark, black, endless sky, splashed with a countless array of stars. Even I gave an involuntary shiver - even I was a little bit scared.

That night was the first night I noticed her. I was young, eleven, still training, still so naive, and yet still _stronger _than her. And just looking at her, I could tell it was wrong and pathetically frowned upon. I saw how everyone glared at her, I saw how she shuddered and stammered, how her eyes were always on the floor, her hands touching nervously. It was as if the world was out of place, the stars missaligned, something went wrong. I thought, _how could this girl be the heir?_ For as long as I could remember knowing her, that's what I thought of her. _What do they expect of this girl? _

I suppose I pitied her. And despite the cold exterior, the icy hatred I should've felt for her, the spite and the fear, I couldn't hate her. I could only feel bad. _That night was as cold as my heart should have been._

It was my job to watch her. She was bad at stealth - she was bad at anything to do with being a shinobi, so it wasn't much of a surprise that her guards found out she was sneaking out at night. They didn't stop her, though, they just followed her, and Uncle gave me the job of guarding her while she was on her little night hikes. I hated it, I hated waiting for her each night, I hated sleeping during the day when I should've been training. But most of all, I think I truly hated the fact that this was the only time we were ever alone, and I couldn't so much as let her know I was there.

This night it was summer, the night was clear, and it was freezing. The air felt like daggers on my skin, and I wondered if she would come out this night. But I knew she would. She always did...each evening, slipping out through the shouji doors of her suite, tip-toeing down the steps, and lightly running through the gates. And then I'd be there, waiting for her at the edge of the forest. At the beggining, I used to suppress my chakra so she wouldn't notice me, but I had realized that I could've been standing in front of her wearing a women's dress, and she wouldn't so much as realize that anything was out of place. I was as invisible to her as water to an alcoholic. Somewhere deep down, I think I wondered if I was that invisible to her in the day, too.

And then she showed up. A small movement in the corner of my eye, and she had slipped through the gate and began running towards the trail we were both so familiar with; although she would never know that. The moon had also slipped out from under the clouds cover, and lit up her alabaster skin, so she was even easier to follow. But at this point, I knew where she was going...where she always went. Tap, tap, tap, her light steps were the only sound in the forest. I followed her like a ghost, my feet knowing the way, my byakugan activated in case of intruders. And then, almost in no time, were were there.

The first time Hinata had unknowingly lead me to the clearing, I couldn't help but feel that I witnissed something no one should see. I sat there, crouched in the greenery like an idiot, gawking at Hinata's form as she kneeled over a small patch of flowers in the corner of the field. Flowers, how silly, she ruined her sleeping pattern for flowers? At first, that's what I thought, but the longer the night went on, the more bewildered I felt. First of all, I could not figure out why I felt like I was intruding on a very special, solitary thing. I felt very out of place, to say the least. And second of all, why was it that she cared for these small, insignifigant little flowers so much that she would risk everything to come tend to them?

Each night I went there, I felt the same thing. Like nothing was being solved, like time had stopped and it was just me observing a repitition. And I still could not figure it out, I couldn't see her motives. I even questioned her sanity. At first, I only watched her at night, like I was ordered to. But my curiousity was knawing at my self control, and I wanted - _needed_ to understand her. She captivated me in a way that nothing else ever did. And so I watched her, day and night, like an unwanted guardian angel.

I saw that in the day, she was a shy, pathetic little girl, doing everything she was asked, barely speaking, and failing miserably at any form of combat. She was a disgrace to the Hyuuga, and was reminded of that very often, _during the day._ During the day, her large, deep, ivory eyes were in a different place. She had no confidence whatsoever. I could see the rest of the clan's perspective, I could see what they hated about her. And it made more sense, it was what I should feel. But maybe, with the planets out of line, or whatever it was that caused _her_ to be the heir, _I _was the one that was supposed to notice her. _It was just physically impossible to hate her, no matter how much I wanted to._ That, I noticed.

But, in the night, when I watched her, the moment she stepped into that clearing, her posture was straight, her breathing was relaxed, her eyes were focused, and she was smiling. Always, always smiling, while tending to her plants, her herbs and flowers, vegetables and fruit. And I didn't have the heart to report to Uncle what she was really doing at night. If I hated her like I should, her garden would be non-existant. I couldn't figure out why I was breaking orders, why I was lying, and I realized how silly I had been. When I first saw this garden, I wondered why Hinata would risk everything for a bunch of flowers, and now I was the one risking everything for the same, exact flowers. I told Uncle she was training at night, she was trying to perfect her jutsu, she was strengthening her byuakugan, I told him everything I needed for him to allow her to keep going there. And I did everything in my power to protect Hinata's secret, to convince Uncle what I was saying was the truth. He had no reason to not believe me.

But that cold, cold night, I had noticed her. I thought I had already noticed her, seeing as how I was always watching her, following her, studying her. But I never noticed her as a person...just an object of interest. It was so unexpected that my whole body was rigid for a few moments, as I continued to watch her. She was in her pajamas that night, and it had to be at least below zero. She was tending to her plants in her light summer pajamas, no coat, no shoes, nothing, and she didn't so much as shiver. She was so strong, so willing to protect and care for these plants, that she didn't even care that she was succumbing herself to frost bite. And I finally realized that the reason I couldn't hate her, the reason I couldn't believe all the assumptions the clan had made about her, the reason I was so obsessed with her very existance.

I loved Hyuuga Hinata. And I wished I could've hated her.

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Hope you enjoyed. Next chapter probably reeeeaaaallllly soon. XD. R&R please?


	2. Eyes of Steel

Hyuuga Hinata – The boy with the eyes of steel

**A/N:** I'm Canadian, so when I say degrees, I mean CELCIUS. 7 degrees is a few degrees above the temperature where you should expect snow. I'd say that would be frost, not snow. Just for those who don't use the metric system. Anyways, here's a new chapter. Please enjoy.

**Hyuuga Hinata** – _The boy with the eyes of steel._

I don't think I am one to judge what is fair and what is not fair. A lot of things about my life could be considered 'unfair' – my body constantly failed me, my will was weak, I was soft-spoken and barely could grasp even the simplest of techniques; worst of all, I was the heiress to one of the most prestigious clans in Konoha. A lot wasn't fair, but if I dwelled on that, I knew I'd give up.

No, I wasn't one to judge fairness, but, I knew that_ this_ was certainly not justified by any means.

I was being followed.

Every step, every breath, every blink, I was always watched. And I couldn't figure out why he was doing it, or even so much as to _how _he could possibly think I didn't realize this. When I trained, when I cooked, while I shopped, _he was always there_. There was no privacy in the compound, I felt like a celebrity being followed by cameras…but the only cameras were his eyes. I had to watch where I looked, because many times I would glance up just to meet his hard gaze. Why? Why was he _always_ there?

And his eyes were like ice, so hard, so cold. He only showed fury, and I couldn't figure out why he hated me so much. He was following me obsessively, and once again, I began to fail utterly and completely. His eyes were always on my back, like he saw through me, and I never felt alone. I was always afraid, afraid of the ice in his eyes.

People always saw the worst in me. He saw that and more, and I became terribly self conscious. I was afraid to dress and bathe, because my body wasn't perfect, my skin was so white, and I felt that it made me look like a ghost. My face was very round, and I wasn't beautiful, I was very ordinary, very plain. And he kept staring at me; I felt the ice on my skin. I would slip into the tub quickly after undressing, and bring my clothes into the bathroom with me, afraid he would see the body I was so ashamed of. I was not strong, I was not in the physical shape I should be, and it felt wrong having his beautiful, cold, dark eyes constantly on my plain self. I was only ten years old when this began, and my body had began it's journey from girl to woman, so I felt even more awkward and afraid. I wished I could be invisible. I wish he couldn't see me.

I was thankful for my escape, though. Being the Hyuuga that I was, I knew that crying was not an option, crumbling and falling to the ground could _never happen. _I wouldn't allow it, but I wasn't sure how long I could follow my father's wishes. To the best of my ability, I tried, and I yearned for the strength that I needed to please everyone. But, no matter how hard I pushed myself, it was to no avail. The stress was unbelievable, I began shaking and flinching, fearing touch and connections. I wished I could find something right about myself. I wished it was easier. When I was ten, I was very self conscious, until I found my escape.

Three miles east of the compound, through an abandoned escape route, across a river, through a waterfall's cave, there was a clearing. It was small, but big enough, and it was easy enough to get there, once I memorized the way. I had only two hours at the most, but I made do, planting and tending in the dark. The forest was a frightening place while alone, and especially on winter nights, when Konoha's weather usually dropped to about seven degrees, it was frightening. I feared taking more than the clothes on my back, because I figured the only way I could sneak out without getting caught was as fast as possible, and stopping for gardening tools and shoes wasn't much of an option. I left all my supplies in a plastic container, buried close to the garden. Winter nights were hard, because I had to claw through the frosted dirt to get to my supplies. Fall nights were also difficult, because I had to harvest many of my vegetables, and my pumpkins, which were in a separate patch east to my little flower and veggie garden, were very heavy to carry the whole three mile hike back to the village.

But I managed.

I had made a secret deal with a fruit stall manager, who came to Konoha every second day to sell his produce. He was very kind, and I was familiar with him because of the many times I shopped at his stall. He had a round, chubby face, and a genuine smile. His hair was balding, but his cheeks were rosy and his voice was booming. In a way, I looked up to him, and I became comfortable enough around him to speak without stammering. It was him who provided me with the seeds to my garden, and it was his idea for me to make a profit off of his sales. But I didn't want the money. I brought my fruit and vegetables to his stall late at night, and he would sell it and keep the money for his family. It was my thanks to him; I'm sure he would never realize just how much he did for me.

Two years of hard work had passed. I tended to my garden each night, and did my Hyuuga duties during the day. When it came to harvest, I'd carry as much as I could, usually making five or six trips when it was just vegetables, and sometimes as many as twenty trips when it was pumpkin season. All within two hours, I would go as fast as I could through the underbrush, and I began to make a path. I feared someone might follow it, but through my detection, no one did. I refused to activate my Byakugan, because _this was my escape from the Hyuuga_. I would not do it. At night, I was a gardener, a simple peasant; I was a nobody, just like I wished to be. My flowers were my friends, and I never, ever cried. How thankful, I was. How I loved my flowers, and most of all, how I loved not having his icy cold eyes burrowing through my back. It was not only my escape from the duties of the clan, it was my escape from him.

And then something that I had not been expecting happened. I had to stare into the eyes I had spent two years avoiding, I had to throw hits at the perfect, beautiful, porcelain face I wished was non-existent. Against my nature, I had to fight him. I had to hurt him, and I knew he wanted to hurt me. All of his hatred was pushed through his hands, and into my skin. He hated me, and he was thrilled at every touch.

For the first time, I cried. It was a very unexpected battle. I remember seeing our names flash up on the screen, during the preliminary round of the chunin exam. My heart was beating, and I tasted the blood in my mouth from biting my lip so hard. I couldn't back down, though. My team mate even begged me to stop. But I couldn't turn away from those cold eyes. I thought, that maybe, if I allowed him to hurt me, he wouldn't hate me so much. He would let out some of his frustration towards me, and it wouldn't feel his cold eyes anymore. I truly wished not to feel his eyes on me anymore.

So, blow after blow, mentally and physically he tortured me. It was so unexpected, how fast my tears fell down my face. It was something so alien to me. I had never cried before, until I heard the words of hatred coming out of his perfect mouth. But there was a certain pain in his cold eyes, and I didn't think it was jealously. It was something completely different, and I could tell it was tearing him up inside.

I was in the hospital, unconscious while disaster struck Konoha. I was able to watch Neji fight Naruto in the last round of the exam, but obviously my hospital stay was not long enough, and I fell ill again, but not before observing something very important. I was grateful, happy even, that Neji had beat me. And I was nervous and scared, but excited that he would fight Naruto. Naruto was very good at teaching people to be right, and kind; he was close in my heart. I hoped he could do the same for Neji – I very much hoped my torture was not in vain. I hoped his icy eyes wouldn't be on my back anymore. I watched Naruto talk sense into Neji, I heard Naruto say things about the Hyuuga clan that both Neji and I thought, but feared to speak aloud. And then my heart throbbed, because I felt like crying again, not sure how I felt about the two young men battling in front of me. I coughed up my feelings, the blood in my chest, and passed into two week unconsciousness, only waking up to find that Neji was gone on a mission to receive a close friend of Naruto's.

Despite all that happened, I feared for my garden. It had to have been weeks since someone had tended to it, and I was afraid that it would be too far gone to save, now. It was also time for my fruit to blossom, and I didn't want to let down the stall manager's family by not giving him my fruit. The moment I was well enough to visit my small, little garden, I did. And what a surprise it was when I found my garden perfectly in tact, the soil freshly dug, and the fruit already picked.

_Someone had followed me here._

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Yes! Done. A lot was covered in this chapter, I have to reallllyyy write a bunch in the next.


	3. Venomous Scent

Hyuuga Hinata – The boy with the eyes of steel

**A/N:** _Funny story_: When I write, I get really into my character's minds, so I tend to think like them in my normal, daily life. Well, since I'm already two chapters ahead of this one, you can guess that Hinata's thinking lustfully about Neji XD. Well, I was watching Naruto with my friends, and there was a scene where Neji was training with Hiashi, and he was panting all erotically (even though he was just training XD). Anyhoo, with my mind in Hinata-horny mode, (and my friend was sitting on my knees too, lol), I began to get a hot flash LOL. My skin got all damp and sweaty, and my friend had to put a pillow on my legs so she wouldn't be sitting in a pool of my sweat.

I _really_ need to learn how to control my passion for writing XD.

**Hyuuga Neji** – _The girl with the venom scent._

She was poisonous, that much I had figured out. Her small, white lips, delicate, round face, small, breakable hands that were so capable. Everything about her seemed alien, intriguing, _she was intoxicating_. It was the first thing that had led to the attraction. And it felt that no matter how much time had passed, I still felt odd – shaky and weakened, around her. The feeling flowing through my very being was so new to me, almost as strange as she was. _Why?_ Why must I feel this way? And despite the fact that I was loosing my self control, I couldn't get enough. She was my heroin; everything about her made my blood rush, my lips glue together, and my muscles tense and relax from adrenaline.

The worst part was her _scent_. It was as light as she was, flowery, dirty, almost the same as her garden, but so much more irresistible. And it was like a poison; each breath I inhaled around her was painfully delightful. That was the mental high she gave me…pictures of her would rush through my mind like a blur, too fast for me to recognize anything I was thinking. It sent my mind into a deep, dark rage. I felt like I was loosing my wits, and every time I could smell just a whiff of her in the air, I felt like ripping apart everything within a one hundred foot radius. My body and mind were not very co-adherent. I longed more than breathing to simply be able to watch every movement she made, my obsession for watching her _exist_ was above all logic. And yet, at the very same time, the way she made my head spin, the way all reasonable thinking went out the window when I was around her, the way she made my very existence feel out of whack, it made me so _angry_. I wanted to be able to think straight, I wanted to not have to worry about my body loosing control, and at the time, I couldn't really see a very clear answer to my problems. The fact that my mind and curiosity, and _orders_, let's not forget, were keeping me around her almost twenty four seven, did not help matters.

I longed to hear her speak, whimper, even a small, tiny, little gasp would send my blood racing through my body and into my pounding heart. It took all of my self control not to try and make her make a noise, not to give into my body's yearning. My composure around her was nothing short of tried. Watching her was like watching a very interesting movie on mute. I wanted to know what she was thinking, what she was saying, but she was so quiet, so scared looking, like one word could break her. I wondered if my words could break her, I wondered how delicate she was. I wanted to hear her scream in delight, in fear, in happiness, I wanted to hear what she sounded like while in ecstasy, while sad, while angry – I would gladly become deaf, if she was the only thing in the world I could hear.

Most of all, I desperately wanted to touch her. I wanted to feel her skin under my hand, I wanted to know if she was as soft as she looked, if her lips were as warm as they seemed. I wanted to feel the texture of her hair, the feeling of her eyelashes, teeth, mouth, hands, abdomen, _everything_. It turned my stomach, how much I wanted her. And I knew how greedy I was, how selfish I was, and I could tell she didn't want me to be around her, but I couldn't stop. I wouldn't be able to survive…she had poisoned me. There was no going back now. I was too young to understand what it was I felt, really, and it made me very, very angry.

All the wants – no, all the _needs_ built up in me for two years, and then everything I wanted had been thrown in my face. I could touch her skin, her hair, hear her whimper, speak, gasp, moan, I could watch her body move fluently, feel the strength in her small hands, taste her sweat and blood on my lips, and after it was all over, I wished I could take it back. I had _destroyed _her in battle, and for what reason? Because I was angry about my position in the clan? No, that had stopped bothering me for a long time. The frustration of bottling up my feelings had come out violently, and even though the only reason I had lost my control was because I was put in the situation, I was sickened with myself. Only a month later, I had to fight Naruto, who had made my guilt even worse. He spoke only the truth, told me things about the clan I had already knew, and Uncle had confessed the truth about my father. He died to be free. What would I have to do to be free? Did it even matter to me anymore? Did _anything _even matter to me anymore? I was disgusted, guilt ridden, and I couldn't be around her, I couldn't look at her, I spent months avoiding her, going on missions, helping the clean up, and it wasn't like I didn't have an excuse for avoiding her.

The whole village had been attacked, and I was responsible, just like any other shinobi, to help out. This took me away from the compound for a lot of time, while she was in the hospital, and then back home recovering, then doing small missions with her team. But there was a hole in my avoidance…I could not stop myself from visiting her secret garden. At first, I just wanted to see if she was there. But for days, which turned into weeks, and then months, she didn't visit. I couldn't stop myself from doing her work for her, gardening and caring, then bringing her produce to the market. It was harder than she made it seem, and I gained a whole new respect for her, and a whole new perspective on her life. Just by being in her garden, using the tools she used, keeping the small empire of fruits, flowers and vegetables, I had quenched my thirst for her. Knowing that this was what had made her happy, that her small, capable hands touched and fed these plants, it was enough. I wasn't angry as much as ashamed, and this hard work, the insomnia…I deserved more pain then what I got. The guilt was unbelievable, I wanted her to hate me, I wished she would, I wished she would despise me like she did before the battle. I wished, more than anything, that she would never forgive me, because I wasn't good enough for her.

She deserved far better than I.

But when I had been obliterated in a gruelling battle during a mission, and brought nearly to death, I felt a complete sense of regret. The words Naruto had spoken to me about the clan made sense, I knew that already and I was content with my position. I thought I had died, and my last, fleeting thought was of her gentle smile. If I had have died that day, she would've been the last thing I thought about. I realized that his had gone on far beyond any normal obsession. I didn't simply love Hinata; I was completely and permanently _in _love with her. At the age of thirteen, after two years of bottling up my feelings, I decided to stop. I would never, _ever_ allow myself to hurt her like that again, no matter how angry at myself I was. I had accepted it; I had an epiphany, while sitting the hospital bed.

I love Hyuuga Hinata. _I love Hyuuga Hinata_. And I would make sure she loved me back.

The moment I got out of the hospital, I made a vow to visit the garden each night. I took care of it while she could not, and I made it painfully obvious that someone was there. I didn't want to scare her away, so I also made sure she saw me walking there. I smiled at her in the compound, and didn't feel fear in looking at her with the warm, liquid eyes I wanted her to see. She began making tea while I was training with Uncle, and it was the most delicious thing I had ever drunk. It warmed me to the tips of my fingers, and filled my body with a sweet, refreshed feeling of stupor – it was like the fluid form of Hinata herself. She must've been confused, and I realized that for those two years, I must've scared her. And I didn't expect her to begin to warm up to me in the way she did; she had a kind, forgiving spirit, which was yet another reason why I didn't deserve her. But, I was selfish and greedy, and trying to rid myself of her obviously had violent consequences. I could not, _would not _give up on her.

The cards had been switched around, now. It was now I who tended to her garden, while she was in the shadows, watching me. It went on for weeks and weeks, and I worried if she was trying to build up the nerve to tell me to leave, rather than to ask me to stay. I desperately wanted her to talk to me, and each night it got harder and harder not to turn around and run towards her, and beg her to expose herself (I was sure that she thought I didn't notice her there). I held my composure, I needed to play this game right. I needed her to come to _me_.

But when she finally did, it wasn't what I was expecting.

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Cliff hanger for the win, am I right? You can guess that Hinata did something bold, so the next chapter there might actually be some freakin' ROMANCE.


	4. Fire and Ice

Hyuuga Hinata – The boy with the eyes of steel

**A/N:** Sorry for the long wait, I was in Edmonton enjoying Animethon 15. It was amazing!

**Hyuuga Hinata** – _Fire and Ice._

The first time I saw him in my garden, I was choked up with feelings. He was most definitely forgiven at that point, and I desperately wanted to talk to him, to thank him, to be on the same page as him…but, I was afraid. He had saved my precious, precious garden, so why was it so hard for me to thank him? I felt awful, hideous, and I hid from him. It was silly of me to think that he couldn't sense my presence each night, as I watched him struggle to do the work I was so familiar with, but I still couldn't talk to him. I was afraid of what his voice might do to me. He had the voice of an angel. So crisp were his words, his carefully constructed sentences, even a simple 'thank you' could have a million different meanings coming from his mouth. It scared me, because no matter what he said, what he thought would come through. And I couldn't hold it against him, because he wouldn't have had said anything _rude_. His eyes and lips would have been the rude things.

It scared me, _rejection_ scared me. For once, I actually was afraid of what someone thought of me…before it was simply accepting the fact that everyone despised me, and trying to fit their standards was in vain. Now, it was like standards were thrown out the window, everything I had ever been taught, every taboo, _everything I had based my life around _was gone. And without that security, how could I face him? How could I assume he felt the same way? How did I know that this wasn't simply out of pity for me?

The hardest question for me to answer was: what about Naruto? I loved him; that was for sure. It was a warm, sunny feeling, as if every time I saw him, it lit up the room. His blonde hair looked so soft, and his voice was always kind and passionate. My stomach fluttered when I was around him, my face reddened, it was a _good_ feeling. But now Neji…this feeling made me sick. It was almost like everything in my stomach was about to come up all over my life and just muck it up even more. The fluttering turned to hammering, and I wasn't warm and fuzzy inside – I was burning hot, as if the contents of my stomach were on fire. And when he looked at me with that pain in his eyes, when I heard the struggle and confusion in his voice, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, it froze me. I felt like the arctic tundra when he so much as glanced at me, and he made a huge effort to do the exact opposite. Two years I endured and hated his torturous staring and watching, and now, after all of that…he stopped. He didn't look at me once.

And I thought I didn't like it when he _was_ stalking me. I'd even endure the blazing fire I felt when I looked at him, and the biting, frozen, gnawing feeling I got when he looked at me, if our eyes would only meet. Perhaps, if we stared into each others eyes, it wouldn't be cold, or hot. It'd be perfectly warm…and that's what I wanted. His icy stare mixing with my searing gaze, my soft, gentle voice and his intense, serious tone creating a melody of a perfect match. A perfect match…but, what were my feelings towards him? I didn't truly understand. It didn't help that every time I was around him, it was as if the world had disappeared and melted in a mess of goo, and Naruto, which was usually the forefront of my mind, slipped to the very darkest corner, and the rest of my brain was busy trying to sort out all the different sensations I was feeling.

I tried to occupy myself by training at night, becoming stronger, perfecting my jutsu. But, I couldn't help but check on Neji every now and then, slip into the underbrush and see if he was there, or check the evidence of my…well, now it seemed appropriate to call it _our_, garden. And he still visited, despite everything. A whole two months passed, and we hadn't so much as said a simple 'thank you' to each other. It took almost all of my strength just to serve him and father tea after training. My hands would get clammy, my body would shake, I would lose control and spill hot water and burn my already blistering body as I tried to prepare them tea. And each step close to Neji was like another ten degrees added to me. I had to get my mind off of Neji…I just had to. But I couldn't, it was impossible. It was as if all my trying to get him out of my mind had permanently etched him into it, and there really was no turning back now, as much as I had wished there could be. I had to get him to look into my eyes. I had to control this heat.

My plan was to confront him at my garden, but of course it took me three weeks of _almost_ standing up and saying hello to actually build up the courage to do it. What should I say? Would it be appropriate to simply wave and greet him? Should I address him the way I would at the compound? Did the fact that we were both Hyuuga matter out here? I don't think it did. This garden had originally been my escape from the clan, and just because part of the Hyuuga followed me here wouldn't ruin that fact for me. It still was my escape, and now it could be ours. Neji and I weren't Hinata and Neji Hyuuga. We were simply Hinata and Neji, woman and man, _fire and ice_. That thought gave me courage, and I refused to allow myself to wonder what he thought of the situation. If this didn't work, I could forget about him. I _must_ forget about him.

So I stepped out of the cover of the trees, with my heart hammering faster than a hummingbird's wings, my face burning hot against the cool night, my legs weak and shaky, and my stomach flipping around inside my body. And he didn't turn around to look at me, he just kept working. Did he not notice me? Was he ignoring me? Did he wish me to leave? All my insecurities I had pushed away a moment before came flooding back, and I saw black dots dance in front of my eyes. My body was searing hot, and I longed for his ice, I kept slowly walking forward, one foot in front of the other, until I ended up running towards him without even realize it. He didn't look at me until I stopped, merely a foot away from his back. _I would not touch him_, I told myself, _I would not try to cool myself_. But I had to do _something_.

Soon I would faint, this I knew. If something didn't calm me down, _if something didn't cool me down_, I'd faint. I had been at this point many times before, and it took all of my self control not to reach out and touch his back. I had to force the words I couldn't grasp out of my mouth, I had to do it. I had to do it. Do it, Hinata, talk to him.

"Neji…"

My voice was barely a whisper, and it cracked the moment I tried to say the second syllable of his name. But I did not stutter, and his back went rigid. The back my eyes were glued on was now stiff, and his hands were shaking, ever so slightly.

"Neji nii-san, why are you here?" Again, my voice was almost quieter than the whisper of the trees, but it was strong, and sure. More so than I was, but this is what I had been practicing. Oh no, I was going to faint, please Neji, say something…

This was nothing like the times he and I talked to each other before. I think it was because out here, we weren't Hyuuga. We were totally different people, had totally different feelings, and had more insecurities than ever. I think…I think we were both frightened of ourselves. I needed to hear his voice, his angelic voice tell me that I wasn't awful. That I had a right to be out here, that everything I was feeling wasn't wrong.

"I am tending to your garden, Hinata-sama," he whispered back, his voice slightly louder than mine had been.

It wasn't what I was expecting – his voice was sincere, and there was a lot of pain. He slowly turned around and his eyes met mine, for a fraction of a second, and they were liquid, and cool, and instantly the heat in my body boiled over. I let out a small gasp, and covered my mouth, my legs stiffening together and I looked at the ground.

"P-please," ugh, I stuttered, "Please don't call me 'sama', nii-san."

It just felt wrong, to be treated so highly, so sincerely, by him. As if he and I were on a completely different planet. Please, Neji, cool me down, I shall faint if you don't. In my mind, I pleaded for him to make sense, for us to be right where we were before.

"Stop calling me 'brother', then," he said, his voice strong and righteous. He made the word 'brother' sound taboo, sound awful, like it should never be spoken around anyone ever again. It scared me.

"I'm…"

What am I? Who am I? What was happening? Is this a dream?

My body had to speak for me now, because my voice would no longer work. There he was, standing in front of me, and he could cool me down. I was seeing black dots, and a red haze clouded my vision. Slowly, ever so slowly, my hand reached out for him. I wanted to touch his bare skin; I wanted to stroke his perfect porcelain face, his lips, his hair. He made no move to stop me, only his cooling gaze pulled my eyes up to his. And then my fingers reached his face the same moment his eyes reached mine.

His skin was so cool, so soft, his jaw line strong and masculine. His lips weren't as thin as I'd thought they would feel – they were perfect. My fingers traced lines along his mouth and my own lips pressed together in a thin line. His eyes were cooling as he looked down at me, his lips not smiling, but his expression saying enough. He wasn't angry, but he was allowing, only for a short time. I used my other hand to cup his face, while my right hand slowly slid down to his neck. My body slowly began to cool down, and I felt weak and tired, as if he had drained the life out of me, but I felt better than I had in a long time. My vision slowly started to turn from red, to blue, to grey, and my legs gave out on me.

All went black, and I gladly fell into the abyss of my mind.

--

Finally, some Hina Neji.


	5. Sisters

Hyuuga Hinata – The boy with the eyes of steel

**A/N:** Went to Shuswap for the weekend…got duck itch. Lovely as always…

**Hyuuga Neji** – _Sisters._

I could never explain what it felt like to carry her on my back that dark night. Her body was unnaturally warm, but strangely it felt comfortable – it felt _right_, to me. Her legs were wrapped around my waist, clinging to me strongly even in her state of unconsciousness, and her arms hung limp around my shoulders. Her head rested in the nook between my neck and shoulder, and her warm breath tickled my ear and sent convulsing shivers of need down my back.

I was in a state of delirium from my attraction toward her. It was as if her body sent out a hidden call to mine; simply having her on my back was enough to start fantasies slipping through my mind faster than water down a thirsty throat. I barely kept my composure, doing so only by watching my feet, and concentrating on each step, not thinking about how _her slow, calm, warm breath crept in my ear, her soft voice whispering my name in her sleep_, one foot in front of the next, keeping my Byakugan activated for intruders who might harm _the soft, warm, placid girl who's thighs gripped my waist. _If only she was gripping my front…

I stopped and shook my head, letting out a shuddered sigh of embarrassment. I probably shouldn't have blamed myself, seeing as how I had never felt that way about anyone before, not even a small crush, and now, here I was, completely and irreversibly in love. My body had also begun to mature, and it began feeling the sexual needs that any teenager would feel. Lust definitely went hand in hand with those two factors.

But I had to control myself. Hinata was a gentle, pure girl, who only felt wholesome feelings toward me. The most she could possibly want _if anything_ would be simple, non sexual touching, like the way she did tonight. The way her small hands slid down my neck nearly sent me over the edge. How could I possibly control myself? The only thing stopping me was the genuine look of interest in her eye. She was not lusting, she was _loving_. By simply caressing my cheek, she was pleasured beyond her own belief, and her pleasure was mine. I could barely contain my own excitement when I saw how much she admired me, how much she truly did not hate me. But I'm glad she stopped when she did, because it was taking all of my strength to hold myself back.

I wish she would hate me, though. I wish we could hate each other, like we did before. Not caring so much, me despising her for having a title she does not deserve, her hating me for despising her so much. It would be simple, we could be happy. But loving each other? Even if she didn't feel so strongly towards me, it didn't stop how I felt about her. My body decided before my mind did, and my body proved me more than once uncontrollable. But now, with her curvaceous bosom pressed against my back, her warm thighs tight around my waist, her lips brushing across the hairs of my neck, it was I who had to be in control of my body, at the cost of Hinata's cleanliness and happiness, _I_ _had to control myself._

Deciding to concentrate on the path ahead of me, I looked around for people. Soon I would hit Hyuuga territory, and guards would notice right away Hinata's unconsciousness. This was not a good thing, and for Hinata's sake, I had to come up with a good lie. I stopped and kneeled, letting her slip down my back and softly hit the ground, while I rummaged through my pockets for a kunai. Finding only a shuriken, I decided it would do, and began my work.

I started with her arms, cutting small, thin lines along her white skin, in random directions, making sure to cut only deep enough so that the blood wouldn't run. I moved along to her legs, abdomen, and neck, concentrating the deeper cuts to her hands. I pressed into her arms with a rock, bruising her skin, all the while grimacing at the sight before me. I gently tore her clothing, and then spread dirt and dried grass along her slender body, inhaling short breaths, only when my lungs burned for air. Why? Why did I have to do this to her?

The only thing left was her face, and it took all of my self control to not just undo all I had done. I held the shuriken in a way that cut me, too, and my blood mixed with hers as I tried to stop the shaking weapon from cutting too deep. Our blood which was the same.

I scratched her forehead, and cheeks, and lastly, her lips. Agony riddled my body as I threw the weapon to the ground in a violent outburst, and stood up and began slamming my fist into a nearby tree. Why? She had to make me lie? Couldn't she just truly be doing what she said she was, instead of visiting me? Training, fighting, not meeting her cousin and performing acts of taboo…

I glanced behind me, my teeth clenched. I obviously had to finish what I started…she would be thankful, of course. It was only her nature to thank me for hurting her, to apologize when someone else was wrong, to stand by and take hits without even so much as thinking about hitting back. I slowly kneeled back to the ground, and touched her face, still as perfect as ever, even among the scratches and dirt. Tousling her hair and smearing her blood across her cheek was the finishing touch. I couldn't bring myself to bruise her face like I did her body, but it would be impossible to tell if it was damaged underneath the dirt, anyways.

The pristine moonlight filtered through the trees, and highlighted her features, her soft pale skin, the shape of her eyes underneath their lids, her glorious red blood even. I could see the outline of her breasts underneath her jacket – they were rounder than most of the other girls, much more defined. Hinata had even begun growing out her hair, and I didn't notice until now, until I found myself stroking it. So soft, so quiet, so cool was the air, her warm body contrasting that fact. I leaned in slowly, to closer view her face. Her lips, even split open, were perfect, pushed out ever so slightly. Her straight, pearl teeth intrigued me…I had never seen her smile open mouthed. I wondered, for a moment, what could make her beam like that. Instead of that shy, small smile she gave everyone else – could I be the one to see her grin?

"Neji sama, what are you doing with my sister?" a light, airy voice filled with power filled the woods with tension.

I flinched, my lips only inches from hers, not realizing how close I was to Hinata's face, how compromising our position was, until someone had intruded in on our moment together.

"She was injured," I spoke quickly, glancing up with a glare to meet the very same expression. Hanabi gripped the tree she was standing by and gave me a questioning smirk.

"Allow me," she said, her pixie face now frowning, her light frame sifting through the underbrush silently as she kneeled down next to her sibling. Hanabi's small hands felt along Hinata's body, and I felt my body tense. How I had been longing to do what she was doing.

To be jealous of Hinata's sister was a new one. I really was loosing my sanity.

"Just a few bruises and scratches, looks like she passed out from exhaustion…" Hanabi stated, her eyes closed. She opened them, her now activated Byakugan peering through Hinata's clothes and into her body. "No internal bleeding and her chakra supply seems to be in tact. Odd…"

"She passed out from surprise; she barely had even begun her training," I said, the tone of defence a little too loud in my voice. Hanabi turned around and observed me with her white eyes.

"Surprise?" she inquired, her body protective over Hinata's.

"She saw me," I replied, venom pouring out of my voice. "I'll let you take her from here on."

I shut my eyes and pried myself away from Hinata's side, walking away without looking back. If Hanabi… if _anyone_ had any clue about my feelings toward Hinata – I couldn't imagine. Her rank as heiress, which she barely clung to, would be gone forever, and I would suffer much worse. But it was not me who I worried about. How could I do that to Hinata? Why must I be so selfish as to put her through this?

"Neji, wait."

I stopped, wishing she never had spoken.

"I know," she whispered. "About the garden, about you…"

I continued walking, making my way back to the compound, not showing my fear. "You're speaking nonsense, Hanabi. Go to bed."

Walking as fast as I could, I broke into a jog by the time I made it out of the forest. My heart was thumping loudly in my chest as my blood ran cold through my body. I felt sick to my stomach, and wished only to run from this, run from my feelings, to be cold hearted. I was not careful enough, obviously. Hanabi knew. Hanabi _knew_. The garden in itself would be enough to permanently separate Hinata and I, but even worse would be our punishment if Hanabi knew how we _felt_.

For Hinata's sake, for her well being…I had to stop. We had to go back to the way we were before. There could be no more night meetings.

And it killed me inside.

--

Lalala. –writes another chapter-


	6. Dirt

Hyuuga Hinata – The boy with the eyes of steel

**A/N:** School started. Overwhelmed for the first few weeks. Now I'm starting to get back on track…have another chapter. Consistency proves yet again to not be my forte.

Mood music:

Loveholic – Shinkirou

Yui – Love and Truth

**Hyuuga Hinata** – _Dirt._

I bathed that night.

I bathed every night, sitting in searing hot water, choking on the steam that filled the bathroom, watching my disgustingly pale skin turn red, and begin to wrinkle and blister. Then I would pour, literally _pour_ bath soap all over my skin and scrub for hours, until the muscles in my arms would tense up and my skin would be stripped off my arms, my legs, my torso. Then, only resting for moments, my delirium would act up again and I'd spend the rest of my stay in the bathroom violently massaging my hair with shampoo, nearly ripping it out in the effort to finally become _clean_. And yet, I still saw in the mirror a girl dripping in blood, skin and dirt.

How is it that the harder you clean, the worse off you are?

When I'd drain the water in the tub, it would mesmerize me. Watching the pink and red mix with the dirty, grey water was the only moment when I wasn't panicking over being filthy. It would spiral around the plug, and just like my life had, it would be sucked down a black drain, lost forever. And every night, when I watched the water flow down the drain, when I experienced that fleeting moment of hope, and lost it in mere moments, I'd hyperventilate, fall to the tiled floor, and lay there in a pitiful heap of tears, biting my lip until it bled to prevent myself from screaming in agony.

After tenderly drying myself off, wrapping myself in a bathing yukata, and slipping out of the bathroom in the wee hours of the morning, it was then that it hurt most. When I stepped out of the steamy bathroom, and the cold, fresh evening air hit my raw skin, it was the most pain I felt throughout the whole ritualistic ordeal. Even then, when I was about as clean as a human being could become, I felt like dirt. When would I realize that no matter how much I scrubbed, how much I bled, I would still be filth? I would still be a selfish, undeserving pig.

I used to think that not being able to have something right in front of you wasn't as bad as loosing it forever. If you could watch, if only from a distance, and see their sorrows and their pleasures, it would be better than them not being able to exist at all. I suppose I thought this, because I used to be selfless. Others first, then myself.

But once you got a taste of something, if only a touch, your hopes of obtaining it are through the roof. Then it's viciously ripped from your reach, and placed directly in front of you; is that better than never seeing it again? If it was thrown out, you'd forget about it after a while, it would be destroyed and you'd never have to look at again and remember that pleasure you felt while it was still yours.

_It's even worse yet, when it wanted you, too. _

Both Neji and I wanted the other one dead. Deep down, there was a fleeting desire of him not being able to live anymore. But I couldn't allow myself to feel that – I just didn't want him to be around me, yet alone live in the same compound. He, on the other hand, hoped more than anything that I could be buried in the ground, being devoured and rotten. Or that he could hate me… I think he convinced himself to hate me. So, I felt like dirt. For ever loving him; no, for _still _loving him, still needing him, still wanting him more than existence itself.

Hanabi had told me that she knew I loved him. This, I already knew, too. She was the one who witnessed my painful ordeal, waited for me to slip in to my bed, covers around my shoulders, shivering and crying all night, _she _would sit me in her lap and stroke my hair, until we both fell asleep. It would be her to make sure I was fed, dressed me, and cleaned up my self inflicted wounds, calming me down so that no other could see the state I was in. Her light airy voice, and angular, pixie face would be the first thing I saw when I woke up, and the last thing I saw when I went to sleep. A pitiful thing I was, relying on my nine year old sister to wait on me.

But it was only her who could understand. She loved me, more than anything, she'd kiss my lips affectionately and cling to my torso the moment she and I were alone together. Her soft, light kisses always lingered all over my face, even in the day when she wasn't around. She'd stroke my hand and rest in my bosom, whispering lightly that I was the only mother she had, and she would take care of me. I was sure that Hanabi was insane, for her to convince herself, in our moments alone, that I was her mother, but was I not also in that state? We both were in need of love, wanting it more than anything in the world, more than ourselves, more than our hopes and dreams, we longed for love. The least I could do for her was to accept her kisses, her warmth, and her insane adoration.

The first day, she had told me everything she knew, as I rested my head in her lap.

"I am the only one who could ever see, or comprehend, how much he loves you," she said, as she held my shaking shoulders. "But now that he is aware of that, he can no longer love you."

It killed me. "He hates me," I whispered, and sobbed, and held back screams.

"No, no, no, no," Hanabi would say, "he only wishes he could."

And then, when I thought I couldn't possibly want him anymore, lust kicked in. Lust, a brand new sensation to my fourteen year old body, had flooded all other sensations. At night, I couldn't help but imagine his hands running the lengths of my body, stopping to caress my breast, to touch the inside of my thigh, his lips tenderly tracing lines around my nipple. I'd wake up gasping and sweating, and the odd time crying, from how much I wanted him, and I'd find that it wasn't his hands all over my body, but my own. I was afraid to sleep. My eyes would be glued to the ceiling, and I'd ask Hanabi to hold my hands throughout the night, making sure they didn't move once. More than twice in a night she'd have to wake me up, because I began exploring her body instead of my own while sleeping. It was embarrassing, and I had no idea how to get rid of my need, and for two excruciating years, I put up with it.

Two years I avoided Neji, each night memories of touching his neck, face and lips, overwhelming me, each night scrubbing my body until it bled, barely eating and not cutting my hair. Hanabi would trim my bangs, for it was all I could stay still for. I trained until I couldn't move, and had to be dragged back to my room, convincing myself back into thinking about Naruto, a healthy adoration. I'd trick myself into pretending it was Naruto touching me, and then my hands stopped, and I could finally sleep. Hanabi told me fantasies, whispering them into my ear, of Naruto holding my hand, of him hugging me and loving me, and slowly, ever so slowly, Neji slipped out of my head.

He became invisible, I trained my eye not to see him, but once in a while, Naruto's blue eyes turned white, and his hair turned brown, and I saw Neji glaring at me in my mind. It was enough to send me to my knees, convulsing and biting my lip until Hanabi threw herself on the floor beside me, and quickly got me to my feet. She'd whisper Naruto's name into my ear, for countless times, and convince me that I was okay.

I'm okay. I'm _okay_. Am I really okay?

The night that I found myself unconscious in front of Neji's door, was the night I realized I had to get rid of my frustration. Not even Hanabi could stop my sleeping self from crawling to his room, my subconscious knowing what it was I really wanted. No matter how much Hanabi and I tried to shove Naruto into my mind, changing my heart and body's course of love to him, I still wanted Neji. The difference, I thought, must've been because I had a taste of Neji, and not of Naruto.

Naruto, Naruto, Naruto. I want to love you. Neji, Neji, Neji. I want to hate you.

I was sixteen, naïve, and I thought I knew what I had to do to save myself from the torment. I had to give myself to Naruto.

How was I supposed to know that that would only bring me back to Neji like a slingshot?

--

Wow, aren't _they_ all a bunch of nutjobs. Can't wait for the next chapter.


	7. Here, Against My Chest

**A/N:** It's been a while. Sorry.

**Hyuuga Neji** – _Here, Against My Chest_

Miraculously, my sloppy cover up attempts weren't as see-through as I had thought. I spent over a month anticipating, waiting, for a clan member to pull me out of my training and to bring me for punishment, for one of Hiashi's dinner invitations to tell me that I was to meet him, for Hinata to walk into the council room, for something, _anything_ to prove that we had been caught.

And when none of that happened, I realized that Hinata and I didn't really do anything taboo. How would one know of our feelings, which were universally wrong, if she and I never showed any physical signs of affection? How were they to know of the torture and anguish I felt when I was away from her for more than a few hours, if I did not show any sign of it? How…how could they comprehend any of the overpowering emotions I felt?

Perhaps that was part of the reason I was so afraid of being caught. My feelings were so overwhelming; it felt like they were written across my forehead in plain sight, right over top of my curse seal, as if mocking my place in the clan, and my feelings for Hinata. The feelings that made me wish I could rip my heart out and tear it to pieces.

Some people get butterflies when they are lovesick. But I swear, what I had could _not_ have been those dainty, fluttery insects that invade the tummies of infatuated people. What I had was some sort of monstrous, mutant, distant cousin of the butterflies, that were ten times bigger, invaded in masses and weighed twenty pounds each, giving me gut wrenching feelings of wanting to puke. These butterflies were so awful; more than once I found myself contemplating the side effects of downing a bottle of insecticide. The only thing remotely similar that this feeling had to a butterfly, was the way it onslaughted me once an image of Hinata _fluttered_ through my brain.

It wasn't pleasant ignoring her, when monster insects were flapping around horrendously in my stomach each time her name was uttered, or I thought about the scent I missed, and the skin I longed to dream about. For the sake of her, the clan, and myself, I ignored her, though. And the longer I did it, the more routine the pain became. I learned to live with the butterflies (I hate calling them that), I accepted the fact that feeling something and acting on it were two different things, and not always were punishable, and I pushed back the homicidal longing to murder everyone into that dark place in my brain, where I kept my fondness of the color violet.

I developed a sense of humour, to my team-mates surprise and lack of enthusiasm about. Though subtle, I found a way to deal with the pain through smiling, ever so slightly, at the world. Being cold had only violent outcomes; I cringe when I thought about the way I was when I first realized my feelings for Hinata. I was cold and murderous. I would not let myself become that way again…even if it hurt more this way. By avoiding Hanabi, Hinata, and concentrating solely on becoming a jonin, I began to lose sight of Hinata altogether. I pushed her so far back into my brain, that my conscious self no longer recognized her existence. I could walk past her in a room, and not know she was there. I didn't know she was ever alive.

But I still felt the pain. And after forgetting what I was hurting about, you can understand why it confused me…I decided that it must've been something I had been born with. A burden I'd just have to deal with. And for two years, _two_, long years, with me being on the verge of turning seventeen, finally having reaching my goal of jonin months earlier, Hinata had ripped open the door in my brain that she was locked in, and stomped right back to the front, almost as if to say, "Neji, you can't forget about me, no matter how hard you try."

And she was right.

Slowly, ever so slowly, that cage I had locked her behind began to melt into a puddle of hot metal, burning my head, and I could hear her screaming in my mind. The screech would become so shrill and so loud, and then I would realize that it was not her who was screaming in my mind, but me, out loud. I had become delusional, unsure of when reality started and when dreaming ended, becoming trapped in a world of confusion and insanity. I had lost my marbles, so to speak. At first I wondered if anyone could tell, but then, I realized it didn't matter. Why should I care of what others thought? I was a lunatic, right? So why did I continue to torture myself?

When the subconscious wins the battle with the conscious, you do what you wanted to do. And I wanted to hold Hinata, feel her warmth, kiss her sweetly, hear her whimper; give her pleasure, love and adoration. All the things I suppressed, because of fear, bled back into my mind and system, and I thought, "Why am I afraid?" The limits of reality, such as, what society would think of that decision, what consequences would come from it, and many others, did not cross my mind, since that would be the job of my conscience, and it didn't have a say anymore. The biggest concern would be, "What does Hinata think of this decision?"

I already knew the answer to that, though, so at this point, the only question that mattered to me was, "Does what I have to lose compare to what I might gain?"

It was a new moon, that night. The sky was at its' darkest, shadows were blacker than black, and the only light came from the cloud cover over the sky, which reflected a dark purple white on to Konoha. I crept through the halls of the Hyuuga estate, avoiding creaky floor boards that I was so familiar with, suppressing my chakra, all the way to the main branch quarters. I wore only grey sweats, my bare chest and back exposed, and I stood, in front of the door to Hinata's room, feeling very self conscious. Why had I come to Hinata's room half naked? I glanced at my feet, my right palm resting on the wooden door frame, my left hand balled into a fist at my side. I could feel a nail digging into the pad of my hand, and I shifted it up the wooden siding, still standing there like an idiot, gritting my teeth.

What I wanted was inside that room, the only way I could get it is if I went for it. I reminded myself that the odds of getting caught weren't as high as they felt. It thrilled me, that I was sneaking into Hinata's quarters, that I could finally feel her skin pressed against mine, smell her hair and hear her breath. How I longed to so much as _touch_ her lips, her neck, her breasts and her stomach, let alone truly explore her. The excitement rose inside of me, overwhelmed me, and got my stiff limbs to move once again. I slipped into her room, silently, and slid to the floor, resting my hands on her futon.

Not surprisingly, she was awake, and she stared at me with a wild disbelief, even fear. She probably had no clue it was me, and not some other impostor. The excitement nearly bubbled over in my body, I was grinning like a mad man. But could you blame me? For two years I suppressed my body's urges, for much longer I suppressed my heart's. This was long awaited and well deserved, but I probably should say something before she screamed.

Barely a whisper, I said, "Hinata, it's Neji." And immediately the panic in her eyes flooded into tears, of joy? I couldn't tell. But she was crying, hiccupping, panting and grabbing at her sheets for dear life. She made little noise, and thrashed around for a bit; I sat there and watched her hysterics, trying to be neutral, trying to hide my happiness to simply see her move. She stopped, her breathing became controlled, and she slowly came to a sitting position. We sat there, for a very, very long time, staring at each other's form. I couldn't comprehend anything, my mind was in a state of euphoria, I drank in her image, noting all the different things about her.

Her glorious hair was long, much longer than before. I couldn't tell where it fell on her back from this angle exactly, but the difference was huge. She wore only a thin night slip, which fell to her navel, and I noticed how round her breasts had become, resting below shoulders that also had grown. Her face wasn't as childish, in fact, it had become much more womanly, her stomach was muscular, but not to the point that was masculine, and her eyes…oh, her eyes.

I subconsciously moved closer to her, now sitting closer to the middle of her futon rather than on the edge. I wrapped my arms around her waist, bidding her legs to spread, and pulled her into my lap; her legs naturally crossed around my own waist, and her hands found a place on each side of my face. We sat, fitting together like a perfect puzzle piece, and I watched as her eyes frantically studied my face, and then moved down my neck, and chest. Just like she did all those years ago, her hands slid from my face to my torso, slowly, and I felt exhilarated, as if her touch was electrified. Every nerve in my body stood on edge, and I longed to explore hers. But I had to wait my turn.

She rested her head between my neck and shoulder, and let out a shuddered whisper of my name.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," she repeated, holding my torso tightly. I remained silent, running my hands up and down her back, pulling off her thin shirt so I could feel her skin underneath my hand more easily. She obliged, and then resumed her position on my shoulder, except this time I could feel her breasts firm against my chest, her stomach pressing against mine as her back arched from my massaging. Eventually, we deigned to lay down, I kept her firmly in my grasp as I pulled her blanket over top of both of our bodies, and rocked her to sleep. I myself stayed awake, fighting my tiredness, knowing that soon I would have to leave without waking her, and go back to my own room.

Each night the same routine happened, and each night she explored me further. She admired my strong arms, and muscular torso; she ran her hands along my hips and down the inside of my thigh, then back up to my face and chest, over and over again, and each time was harder for me to bear the excitement. Each morning, hours before dawn, I'd sneak back to my own room, and we'd repeat the process the next night.

Hinata got better. Slowly but surely, her face began to brighten, and her sunken eyes and cheeks weren't as prominent. Every aspect of her was slightly lifted, every word she muttered, each step she took was with more confidence. And finally, _finally_ the blush came back into her face. But there was still something missing in this perfect image of her.

_Me_.

And then, as if nothing had even happened, as if our silence toward each other had never existed, Hinata murmured to me from across the kitchen table one rainy morning, "Neji, will you be training with father, today?"

Well, _that_ floored me. Such a simple, light, normal question. In a very normal situation, nonetheless.

"I'll have to see what the thinks," I replied, my eyes burrowing into her forehead, seeing as her own violet orbs were glued to the cereal bowl in her hand. Why must she always look at the ground when we spoke?

Her eyes lingered on her food, and then slowly slid up to meet mine. It seemed that she was focusing primarily on my nose, seeing as her own eyes were slightly crossed as she replied, with much strain, "In that case, I'll be sure to make the two of you tea and a snack."

I wondered, just slightly, if she was remembered our night meeting, which was only about three hours prior to this conversation.

"Hinata…" I began, my expression probably much harder than it should've been, "Did last night bother you?"

She looked genuinely confused. Perhaps slightly uncomfortable. I could see sweat beginning to form on her temple.

"No. I slept fine."

Her eyes darted toward the exit, and her body followed, leaving me in the kitchen alone. I heard a whispered 'goodbye', and watched in slight horror as she walked away from me.

Now, I'm not exactly the most perceptive person when it comes to people, but I'm pretty sure she didn't remember anything. She acted as if she had no idea what I was talking about – as if 'last night' was referring to her sleep. Her _sleep_? Did she not realize I spent four hours intertwined with her, doing some serious cuddling?

Either that or she was messing with me; frankly, I don't see her doing something like that. In fact, the whole scenario confused me.

I was done with it all. I was about ready to seriously confront her, to remind her right there in front of everyone the pleasures I brought her. How could she moan so much, how could she whisper my name in need and be slick with sweat from simple _touches_ along her neck and chest, thighs and calves…not even going within her private regions, and she would nearly _scream_ from the pleasure…how, _how could she not remember that?_

Or was it all in my head? Maybe there was nothing to remind her of; maybe these night meetings were simply delusions to rid me of the pain, my mind going into overdrive to save what small amount of sanity I had.

What was wrong with me?

I had no answer, finding only more confusion in the sweet, honey tea Hinata brewed for her father and me after training. It felt as if it warmed me all the way to my toes, the taste not too sugary, yet not too bitter. Perfect; just like she was. And just like I was obsessed with our confusing night visits, which continued on for about another week before Hanabi began spending her nights in Hinata's futon instead of her own across the room. I'd witness Hanabi holding down Hinata's hands, her light form crouched over her sister in a manner that only reminded me of an animal protecting her young.

No, that was wrong; an animal protecting her _prey_. Nothing else would be able to send such shivers down my spine. And therefore, she left no room for me in Hinata's bed. I couldn't get around her, or move her to her own bed. Hanabi was much too light of a sleeper. After standing, watching, trying to find a way to get my body closer to Hinata's, I realized there was no reason for me to be there anymore.

Our nights were all we had, and Hanabi had taken even _that_ from us.

--

FUCK. UGH. FUCK. I AM DONE. THIS CHAPTER HAS TAKEN ALL MY ENERGY FROM ME. I'LL MAKE THINGS INTERESTING AFTER SOME FEEDBACK.

FUCK.

UGH.

I'D BETTER GET A LOT OF REVIEWS.


	8. Fire Lilies

**A/N:** It's been a while. Sorry, I'm a little rusty.

**Hyuuga Hinata** – _Fire Lilies._

As winter melted into floods of creeks and streams, bleeding into spring, so did my training slowly cease until I had stopped waking up in the morning altogether. Spring time had always made me sleepy – I was at my top energy levels in the fall and winter, probably because fall was harvest season and it was almost built into my DNA strands to be excited for harvest. And as for winter, my birthday (which had stopped being exciting after my fifth time inviting friends over for a piece of cake and presents to no one showing up anyways) kept the winter interesting. And even though my mind disliked the thought of my birthday, being still a child, it was an automatic form of excitement to my body. The hope of someone actually noticing and perhaps celebrating my birthday with me was always a little candle lighting up the darkness of winter.

For the past three or four years, I had just spent my birthday in my room with a small cupcake I had baked for myself, a single candle and some exotic tea. Back when I was ten years old, Hanabi would help me with the baking and we'd eat the cupcakes together, we'd have six each and eat them until our stomachs threatened to burst, ruining our supper. But she had soon lost the appreciation of fun and began her intense training, our father moulding her into a form of him, something he could never do with me. I felt a small satisfaction, a small glimmer of thankfulness that Hanabi could take my place as the clan leader. It was not something I ever felt I could pull off – I was happy with my own small accomplishments, and I hadn't nearly enough confidence to ever think I could be a leader.

Hanabi would do the clan well, I had told myself. Hanabi would take this clan to a better place. But I knew deep down, in that dark place where I kept my anger; that she would make the clan worse off than it already was. Each night as I held my younger sister in my arms while we slept, I knew I was the only one to ever see her in such a vulnerable position – showing signs of _affection_ toward someone. The clan's mindset had nothing to do with things like love or adoration, or even admiration. There was no room for any of that. Even marriages turned farther and farther from love and closer to animal breeding each generation. It was all about the kekkei genkai now, the Hyuuga's weren't human, we were just bred and born to be beasts; snarling animals.

I suppose that's what being a kunoichi was about, though. We're fighters, not humans. But even so, I couldn't bring myself to accept that in order to win my clan over, I'd have to stop _feeling _and start _fighting_.

Enough so that I would resent my very birth into this clan in the first place.

I spent the spring days getting up at ten a.m. rather than the usual six a.m., brewing tea and sitting outside enjoying the chilly air and yet warm sunshine on my back. The smell of spring was always a good one – the smell was fresh and clear, it opened my thoughts, and I waited for weeks for the sakura blossoms to bloom.

Although I felt much more at peace at this time, there was a gnawing feeling in my gut reminding me of Neji, and each day that passed, it became harder to avoid him. In fact, as I had promised myself, I began seeing Naruto much more often. The first day I knocked on his apartment door to ask him to spend the morning at the market with me was a very nerve racking one. I'll admit I've been through worse, but I'll also admit it took me eight days of spending three hours outside Naruto's door, and then booking it for the terra cotta plant pot every time I heard stirring about inside the room. You think by now, I'd be used to panic attacks.

But admittedly, the days I spent with Naruto were also quite peaceful; every time he smiled he filled me with a very soft warmth, and I could feel the blush filling my face when he'd compliment how nice my hair looked as it grew, or ask me questions about certain vegetables we were picking up at the grocers. His comments weren't exactly romantic, per say, but they were enough to fuel a hormonal teenaged girls fantasies about the boy she likes…and it was also enough to allow me to fall further and further into my infatuation with him. His cerulean blue eyes burrowed themselves into my dreams, and as I got used to his warmth, I began to push away my love for Neji. I never would know if he had any feelings for me; I wasn't even sure if I had feelings for him. I just hated thinking about Neji, and Naruto was the perfect escape.

For the first time in my life, I felt like a person, not a tool.

But still, even though my cheeks were no longer sunken; my eyes were dead. I struggled to smile even when thinking of Naruto. I was supposed to love him, right? I was supposed to want to spend every waking minute thinking of him, yet with each day that passed, it became harder and harder. Desperately I began spending each day with him, but even standing right next to the rambunctious blonde, I became distanced from him. His voice, so familiar, so warm and so happy began distorting itself in my head. It became cool, deep and sharp, sending shivers of electricity down my spine.

"What are these flowers, Hinata?"

And just like that, I would be snapped out of my subconscious daydreaming and reminded where I was and just _who_ I was with.

"Geraniums," I whispered with a soft, yet dead smile. Naruto and I were in the flower shop; he said he wanted to buy me something, but he had no clue about the different kinds of plants and he wanted to make sure I thought they were beautiful, or something like that. It was kind of hard to concentrate on his words, as I absentmindedly fluttered from flower to flower, reading the information tags without really absorbing any of the sentences.

"You're worthless, Hinata."

I quickly glanced over to Naruto with an expression of terror. It wasn't his voice, but it came from his lips.

"E-excuse me?"

"I said, these flowers are a little expensive," he replied with a bit of a concerned smile. "Are you sure you're feeling alright? You seem kind of sick lately."

Did I seriously hear him call me worthless? It felt like a millennia passed before my expression softened and I worked up a reply. My eyes reverted to the ground and I gripped my purse tightly, hoping to god I didn't hear Neji's voice come out of Naruto's mouth again.

"Y-yes, yes I'm feeling fine, just a little tired," I smiled. How fake; I wondered in the back of my thoughts if Neji would be able to see past it.

Naruto proceeded to walking me home, and I spaced out the entire way there. Before I knew it, I was in my room again, sitting on my futon, gripping my bouquet of flowers tightly. They were fire lilies, exotic, orange and far from subtle, just like Naruto. I silently wished he would've bought me the white roses as I stared at the price tag. The white roses were beautiful, they were calm and didn't have much to say, one could quietly wonder what was on their mind. But the fire lilies…they were beautiful too, but they were just so… it was like the difference between a puppy and a kitten. Both loveable, perhaps, but who wants a dog drooling and slobbering and making a mess of your house, and having accidents on your kitchen floor, when you can have a cat, which probably has just as much cons as the puppy, but…but…

I hate loud things, I hate rambunctious things, I can't stand it when people are in your face and pushy and ignorant and…

"I can't love Naruto!" I screamed. "I can't! I can't!" I stood up and threw the fire lilies, my vision blurred with tears as I watched in horror the attractive flowers crash on to my dresser and knock over my mirror. I saw my world shatter into little bits and pieces all over my floor, the plants break out of their paper cage and onto their bed of glass.

I stood, panting, my dress askew, my arm still outstretched, until everything was again silent. Slowly I made my way over to the disaster area, I looked down and saw my distorted reflection in the shattered pieces of mirror, and noticed the tears running down my face, my eyes puffy and red and…I was miserable.

I barely remember cleaning up, my mind was so teeming with thoughts. My outburst brought memories of warm, passionate nights, with Neji's arms around me, his lips on my neck and face. Did he kiss me? I wondered. I remember Hanabi being on a mission, and upon returning, I remember asking her to sleep in a different room. Why was that? Why was I always wanting the comfort of my bed when I was with Naruto? Why did Neji always ask about my sleeping? Why did I wake up so cold, but only remembering warmth?

And then Hanabi missed me, she returned to my room she slept with me again and the life inside of me began dying. Why?

So many questions, so many…

I called Naruto. To clear my thoughts, or to escape them, my reasoning was unsure. I knew that the only way to get rid of this was to be close to him, to have _his_ hands running the length of my body. I arranged to meet him at his apartment, being only sixteen and a virgin, I didn't know what to expect other than what some of the other girls had told me about sex. It was supposed to hurt the first time, I knew that, I was prepared for that. But anything would be better than this mental agony. I tried to think carefully about what I would wear, but I still ended up throwing the first thing in my drawer on. I brushed my hair, I tried to stop crying, I wondered if I should shower first, if my legs were shaved, _what Neji would think_.

I dropped my brush and sobbed for so long. It felt like forever, but I needed to get it out. I was a failure as a kunoichi, as a woman, as a Hyuuga. Nothing I started I ever finished. My garden, my precious, precious garden was probably unrecognizable for all the weeds and trees and what ever else had grown there. My training was practically non existent, and no one in the clan seemed to care, no one did care about me or anything I did, so why did it hurt so much suddenly? No, I didn't want their affection. Whatever my qualms, I couldn't face them there. I'd have to face Naruto, which was just so much easier.

The moment I found myself ready to leave, my last tear shed, the moment of no return, I felt a deep sense of regret. Regret for an action I had not yet committed. Even though this was probably the best thing for me to do – I was going to sleep with my boyfriend. Was he my boyfriend? Did he consider me of that? Did he misunderstand my intentions of coming over? Did I really care?

Leaving my bedroom, I walked down the hallway fast, heading toward the exit, away from all that was familiar to me, into unknown territory.

And upon entering the kitchen on my way out, there he was, his steel eyes burrowing into my back. I stopped, I held my breath as my eyes widened. Neji stared back at me.

"_Where are you going_?"

--

R&R


	9. Nonchalant

**A/N:** We're getting close to a conclusion! Warning: lemon scene.

**Hyuuga Neji** – _Nonchalant._

I had spent the next few months watching Hinata slowly spend more and more of her days outside the Hyuuga walls, out shopping with friends, out on petty missions, but mostly out with Naruto, who I had come to despise in recent times.

It was a slow transition. At first, she only went out twice a week, maybe less, and came back within an hour and a half. Each time looking a little bit more lost, a little bit more upset; soon it had become clear to me that she was clinging to her sanity by a thread. She was clearly fighting something within herself, and she seemed to be oblivious to everything around her, even the fact that I was doing what I had always done - tracing her every movement. But this time, I wasn't the only one following Hinata.

Every time I turned around, Hanabi was there, the flames of her white hot eyes igniting my hatred for her. There were a few things I noticed about the girl. The first thing was her appearance, she had definitely taken on a more mature look, her once round face now angular and pixie like, her limbs slender yet strong, her hair thin, long and spindly. In almost every way, she reminded me of a venomous spider, her unchanging expression, widened eyes and sometimes a slightly open mouth, those damned thin fingers all over Hinata, her tender yet seemingly vicious acts of adoration… slowly but surely she was weaving a web that Hinata was unknowingly becoming stuck in. Sooner or later I'd lose everything I'd had with Hinata – and that wasn't much.

It didn't take long for Hinata to spend all of her waking moments in the village, coming home only to retire to her room, leaving almost immediately every morning. I kept a very close watch on her, and despite what was probably my best interests, I once again began pursuing her outside the estate walls. Seeing her with Naruto was almost intolerable – soon I began balling up my fists so tight that my palms often would bleed, gritting my teeth until my vision blurred from the pressure, just from seeing Naruto touch her. He was far too rough with her, when he patted her on the back she'd nearly topple over, and occasionally he'd brush her bosom, but it was too damned obvious what he was trying to do. Did this man have no sense of restraint? I almost laughed at how the both of them together never noticed my presence, or even my bloodlust.

Before coming home each evening, I'd wander into the forest aimlessly, blinded by rage, jealousy and frustration, and eventually end up in a training ground. Sometimes it'd only take me fifteen minutes, sometimes hours to exercise to the point of complete exhaustion. I never practiced jutsu, only physical activity, as I didn't want anyone to detect my chakra. I didn't want anyone to know where I was, because if anyone had come across me in that state I don't doubt that I would render them unrecognizable. That, or dead.

I was sick of thinking about what Naruto was doing to Hinata. The mere thought of his hands on her disgusted me, what was worse was the fact that anyone else in the world might feel just the same about _my_ hands on her. She was my cousin, after all, a blood relative, practically my sister. There was just too many things wrong with this for me to even attempt to justify my feelings for her. I was at the point where I was sick of fighting my urge, I was sick of watching her fall. I wanted to hold her, I wanted for her to be close, fuck the consequences. God, I wanted her, as wrong as it was.

I left the training grounds in a stupor, my shirt long discarded and now hanging out of the pocket of my muddy sweatpants. My body was slick with sweat, my hair was greasy and my muscles still tingled from the work out, but I felt good walking along the various trails. I found a stream and quickly cleaned myself off, then walked naked through the woods, keeping a very close eye on my surroundings, letting my body dry off in the late summer breeze. I could smell the coming of fall in the air, and I could see the dark, coral sunset through the dense trees. The sun had long since fallen behind the mountains, but the glow still seeped through the woods, and it was nearly nightfall by the time I had made it back to the Hyuuga grounds.

Before emerging from the trees, I slipped on my pants and shoes, and quickly tied back my hair. My headband was still in my bedroom, I hadn't worn it all day. I had replaced it with some bandaging which I had taken off while I was washing myself, so I wore my curse mark openly as I wandered down the path that led me to the gates of the estate. My mind was blissfully free of thoughts as I came into the kitchen after abandoning my shoes. For the first time in months, I felt at peace. I don't know why, but I just stood there, staring at the entrance to the hallway, thinking absentmindedly how nice it was to not have a care in the world. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard light footsteps along the hallway, and it didn't really click that perhaps someone was coming my direction.

Oh, Hinata's standing in the corridor. Why is that?

My mind awoke with a start, and along with it my very vivid emotions. About a hundred things became clear in my mind, and before I knew it,

"Where are you going?" fell out of my mouth. It was slightly slurred, but had a huge level of intensity, it almost felt as if it was the first time I had talked in a millennia. An exciting moment for me, really.

Hinata's mouth lay aghast, and she simply stared at me, fear stricken. I must've really sounded angry; I must really _be_ angry.

"Neji… I'm going out for a b-bit."

Hm, she stuttered.

In that moment, I drank in everything about her. Her irises, which I once compared to pearls, were a dull grey surrounded by puffy, red skin. Her clothing was plain - simple jeans and a sweater, her hair askew and dreary. She looked as if she hadn't slept in months, or eaten, for that matter. Her once full, round breasts seemed smaller and oddly shaped, her body thin and awkward and her face hollow. It hit me like a ton of bricks that somehow this was my fault. It was my fault for letting her get this way.

I loved her, didn't I? I wonder if Naruto even noticed that she was fading into nothingness. I wonder if he cared, or if he was just too stupid to realize. How could I allow this to happen? Despite how fucking insane my feelings were for her, I did love her. As much as I wished I could have hated her, what difference would it have made anyways? There's such a fine line between love and hate, sometimes I didn't know exactly which side I was leaning toward. Either way, she was always in my head, her voice always in my ear, her body always under my hand.

No, I realized in that moment that it doesn't matter whether I loved Hinata or I hated her, because it wouldn't change how much I wanted her. And in that moment, nothing could've stopped me. My emotions boiled over, and I no longer controlled my movements. They were slow, yet very direct, and before I knew it I had Hinata in a strong embrace. I was deaf and blind to the entire world, all of my attention was on her. Every single movement, every heartbeat, every whimper, everything about her was so acute. I didn't even care that she was pushing away from me, that she was scratching my bare back and raising her voice in fear. Funny, even though all I could hear was her, I never really understood what she meant by, "Let me go," even with that panicked voice of hers.

My body was on auto pilot. Without releasing her, I led us both outside and out of the grounds, back onto the familiar path leading to what was once her garden. It had been so long since I was there, I was surprised that I even recognized it once we had arrived. My mind was so overrun with nostalgic thoughts that I didn't realize that Hinata was hitting me. I turned my attention over to her and became aware that she was close to crying – oh, I must've been holding her wrist too tightly. Had I dragged her the whole way here?

"Neji, please…"

She was talking, maybe I should listen. I let go of her, half expecting her to run away, but she simply collapsed to her knees, sobbing and holding her wrist in pain, muttering to herself. It broke my heart to see her so sad.

"Hinata," I said, my voice husky and wired, "Hinata, what are you doing?"

"I don't know what you mea-"

"Of course you do!" I yelled. I felt anger boiling my blood, my want for her driving me mad. "Do you think I don't see what you're doing with Naruto? Are you so blind as to not see what _he_ is doing with you?"

She sat, eyes glued to the ground, "I like him."

"You love me."

She suddenly stopped, and slowly her eyes found their way to mine. I looked down at her, and after much debate, got down on my knees. I took her hand, kissing it directly, lapping at the wound I must've inflicted. Her skin tasted good… it wasn't salty, like I might've imagined, but almost tasted like water. Despite how unhealthy she might've looked, she was very warm and flushed, and I soon felt her body give in to mine. We melted into an embrace, her head resting on my bare chest, her one hand propping herself up while the other was taken hostage by my kisses. It felt so good to feel her skin again.

"Please don't," she muttered, shutting her eyes and inhaling a deep breath. She seemed exhausted, but I didn't mind. A light breeze sifted through the trees and her hair moved in such a way that it tickled my arm. She shifted her body so that she was seated in my lap, her legs around my back. I surrendered her arm in exchange for her lips, and dove in, driving her to the ground.

"I don't want to…" she whispered, each of her pleas sounding more and more fake than the last.

Her lips were chapped, yet still somehow very soft and plump. Our kiss wasn't exactly what I imagined it would be… it was very warm and supple, and for me it was almost an awkward feeling, but at the same time my instincts told me it was good. That this was good, that my hands traveling up and down her body, pulling off her shirt, undoing the drawstring of her pants, the pathway of my kisses leading to her breasts… this was all good. So, so good. My mind and body were in such an uproar of feelings that I don't even know where to start describing them. I felt so in the moment, as if there was nothing else that could bring me back to earth. It was just me and Hinata and the forest, nothing else, there was no Hyuuga, there was no ninja, there was no Naruto or Hanabi or rules, just impulse, just sensation. I stopped, and looked down at the girl before me.

"You love me, Hinata," I whispered.

At this point Hinata began kissing me back; also pulling off the little clothing I was wearing, feeling my body like she had done so many times before. The only difference was that now there were no consequences, there was no holding back. You would think, knowing our history, that this moment would be filled with passionate insanity, that we both would be going berserk just by being this close. It had slowly dawned on me that the only reason we had ever been so emotionally unstable, the only reason I ever truly hated her was because I were fighting the force that was trying to bring us together. And now, in this eternal moment of bliss, I finally had Hinata to myself. Now was our moment. My breath grew heavy and my face flustered, her quiet moans driving my body to euphoria, and I began growing impatient.

It was an eternity before she was ready, but eventually she nodded. My eyes closed as she guided me along, and she repositioned herself a few times before she allowed me to push myself into her, breaking her maidenhead. She gasped, perhaps in pain, and I waited for her to exhale before moving on. She wrapped her arms over my shoulders, reaching up and resting her chin on my head. We both sat, intertwined, waiting. It felt like forever before she started moving, and she reached up and gave me the gentlest of kisses, right on my curse mark. I could tell she was implying for me to start a rhythm.

This was an entirely new sensation for me. The knowledge that I was inside of Hinata, that I was now a part of her alone could've sent my heart into oblivion, but there was so much more to it. The pleasure was ecstasy; I had never felt anything more exhilarating. I felt myself gaining speed, acutely aware of every sound Hinata was making, trying to pick up her bodily queues. Soon both of our bodies were slick with sweat, her moans becoming more loud, more prominent. I could feel her nails digging into my back, her panting and moaning become simultaneous.

Our movements became faster, harder, more intense, I could almost feel her pleasure coupled with my own.

"Neji!"

I lost all control, and I felt her contracting hard around me. I felt a warm pooling between my legs, and in that moment realized that we had climaxed. I let out a moan and began slowing down, our rhythm ceasing until we were both still, panting; gazing at each other.

I waited inside her for a very long time, moving her hair out of her face and touching her lips, feeling every single part of my body relax. I don't think I had ever felt this level of peace in my entire life. Every ounce of my being was calm, all I could feel anymore was my love for Hinata. I gently pulled out of her and lay beside her, pulling her close to me. She rested her head over my chest, bidding my arms to wrap around her shoulders.

It was a long time before either one of us had spoke. Clearly our feelings were mutual, seeing as what had just happened. Her warmth melted the ice in my heart, and gazing at the stars I could only think of the first night I had realized my feelings for her.

"Neji…" she whispered, burying her head deeper into my chest, "what do we do now?"

She said it so nonchalantly, so simple and plain. As if I knew the answer. What had just happened was so wrong, I couldn't even imagine what would happen if anyone had found out. I _knew_ what we had just done, and my heart sank at the thought…

But what do we do now?

--

R&R


End file.
